What kind of parents are Singaporeans?

The Tiger Mum type or the “just-play-with-your-ipad-leave-me-alone” type?

No matter what type we are, there will always be some of us who make these common but stupid mistakes.

The reason why I wrote this is not to shame Singapore parents, but to create an opportunity for us reflect on some of the extremes we go to in our quest of raising the perfect child or struggling with parenthood.

 

Mistake #1: Being Overly Competitive

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Being kiasu is in every Singaporean’s DNA. As parents, we tend to compare our kids to our peers’. Right from as early as newborn stage, we compare milestones being hit, to primary school results.

 

Mistake #2: Raising the child we want, not the child we have

We have an idea of a dream kid that we would like to raise up to be. Every parents would love to raise another Joseph Schooling or a gold medalist.

However, not every kid is born to be a good sportsman. As parents, we tend to overlook our kids fortes and obsess over their weaknesses, causing us to be bent on grooming and molding them to be dream kids of our choice.

 

Mistake #3: Think that toys and activities are considered quality time with kids.

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Some parents buy so many toys for the kid, or sign him up for multiple enrichment classes. However this is not the same as spending quality time with them.

 

Mistake #4: Overprotecting your kids

You are a helicopter parent, planning every single route for your children and shoving him to the narrow path you have charted out till he becomes an adult.

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Everyone learns through experimentation, mistakes and failure, including kids. If you do not let go to let them fall and pick themselves up, how will your kid ever learn?

 

Mistake #5: Yelling

This is a mistake I am so guilty of. After a hard day at work, parents crave peace and quiet at home.

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But the kids are making a mess. This results in yells and blows being exchanged.

Looking back, instead of yelling, I could have use a softer approach to speak to the kids to get things done.

 

Conclusion

No parent is perfect, and we are as human as our kids are. Now that you know these common mistakes parents make, share with your friends with kids to help them be better parents.

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